Thursday, April 28, 2011

Completing Your Husband

As women after God's heart, we are to make our husband our #1 human priority.  When I say that we should complete our husband I am referring to the fact that we are to be the woman that our husband needs us to be.

For our challenge this week to make our husbands a priority, I have included some suggestions for you to consider:

One of the suggestions is to make meals that he likes. I actually already do this a lot. In my housekeeping notebook, I have a tab labeled kitchen. What is your husband's favorite meal or meals? How about trying to make his favorite meal once or twive a week? 
If one of his favorites is something difficult and timely to make like homemade ice cream, how about making it on a monthly basis.  Isn't he worth the extra effort?

Another suggestion is to involve yourself in his favorite activities.  Does he enjoy playing video games, or watching a baseball game?  Maybe it's something simple like sitting out on the patio for an hour in the evening watching the birds feed.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Lesson 7 - Workbook

Preparations:

o Prepare the house – Proverbs 31:27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
o Prepare your appearance – Proverbs 27:9a Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart:
o Prepare your greeting – Proverbs 12:25 Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad. and Proverbs 15:30 The light of the eyes rejoiceth the heart: and a good report maketh the bones fat.
o Set the table – Proverbs 9:2 She hath killed her beasts; she hath mingled her wine; she hath also furnished her table.
o “The king is in the castle!” – Proverbs 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
o Clear out all visitors
o Stay off the phone
o Prepare all the way home – Luke 6:34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
o Pray all the way home – Ephesians 6:18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; and 1 Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing.

Which of these preparations for homecoming do you need to work on?

Make a list of your husband’s likes and dislikes. How can you set about to please him and honor his preferences?

Does your calendar reflect more time apart than together? What changes can you make in your personal schedule to enjoy more time together?

Read 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 3. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

and Proverbs 5:18-19 18. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. 19. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

What positive word of response have you chosen, and are you using it?

Write down seven of your husband’s qualities or personality traits that you admire and appreciate. Now for the next week, praise him for one each day!

Don’t forget to lift prayers to God throughout your day for your husband and for your relationship with him as you seek to live out God’s four words for wives: help, follow, respect, and love.

Write in your journal of an instance where you were aware that you actively chose to show love to your husband this week. Then thank God for that opportunity and His grace to make that choice.

A Heart That Loves - Part 2


That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, - Titus 2:4

What can we do to show our husbands affectionate, indulgent, friendship love? Let’s continue with our steps to showing our husband’s that we care.

The first two steps were:
1. Pray for him daily.
2. Plan for him daily.

Step 3: Prepare for your husband daily.

a. Prepare the house – take a few minutes before your husband is due home to pick up. Light candles, turn on relaxing music, cut and arrange fresh flowers from your garden, have dinner cooking in the oven, …something that communicates you are glad he is home.

Working women – Think about the state you leave the house in when you leave for work, take a few extra minutes to straighten up before leaving so that when you both arrive the house is in order.

b. Prepare your appearance – Think how you prepare yourself when you know that company is coming. Freshen your makeup, run a comb through your hair, change clothes (so that you’re not in those same sweat pants he is accustomed to seeing you in)… Proverbs 27:9

Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel. – Proverbs 27:9

c. Prepare your greeting – We all have routines; you probably know what time your husband will get home from work each day. Warm his welcome as you wait and watch for him. Plan your words of greeting. Proverbs 15:28; Proverbs 12:25.

The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things. – Proverbs 15:28


Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad. – Proverbs 12:25

d. Set the table – Have dinner as close to ready as possible.

e. Clear out all visitors – end your visiting well in advance of your husband’s homecoming. He doesn’t need to arrive home to a noisy houseful of moms and kids.

f. Stay off the phone – You are bound to hurt someone’s feelings if you are on the phone when your husband walks in the door. Either your husband’s or the person you are on the phone with.

“Let the wife make her husband glad to come home.” – Martin Luther

g. Prepare all the way home – use the trip home to plan those uplifting words of greeting and then share them with a smile, a hug, and a kiss.

h. Pray all the way home – prayer is the most important preparation of the heart. Ask God for physical strength and energy. Relinquish any hopes and expectations of receiving help from your husband. If you get it, praise God – and your husband – profusely, but enter into your evening ready to give and expecting nothing in return. (Luke 6:35)

But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. – Luke 6:35

Step 4: Please your husband.

What are your husband’s likes? What are you doing in response to them?

Step 5: Protect your time with your husband

Don’t use him as a babysitter. Don’t leave him at home to go out and be with friends.

Step 6: Physically love your husband.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 - 3. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Song of Solomon


Proverbs 5:19 - Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

Step 7: Positively respond to your husband.

Remember our positive word response – Sure! Fine! No problem! Great! You bet! Anything for you darling! Okeydokey!

Your immediate and gracious answer creates a non-threatening atmosphere for communication and for asking questions such as:

When would you consider doing that? How would we pay for something like that? What would this mean to the children? Is there any other information we need?

Step 8: Praise your husband.

Never speak critically or negatively about your husband to anyone! Never pass up the opportunity to bless your husband in public.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are criticizing your husband, do these three things:

a. Search your heart. (Proverbs 10:12). Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.
b. Seek a solution. Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

Proverbs 16:21-24 The wise in heart shall be called prudent: and the sweetness of the lips increaseth learning. 22.  Understanding is a wellspring of life unto him that hath it: but the instruction of fools is folly. 23.  The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips. 24.  Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

c. Set a goal. Blessing your husband in public – and in private – is one way to sow seeds of love for him in your heart.

Step 9: Pray always!

We begin with prayer and we end in prayer. A woman after God’s own heart is a woman who prays.

Pray:

1. Before you speak in the morning.
2. Any time he is home.
3. Before he returns home.
4. Throughout the evening.
5. On the way to answer the phone (it could be him).
6. When you are arriving home and he is already there.

Surely the most important relationship in a married woman’s life deserves her most focused attention.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Love Encourages

Marriage has a way of altering our vision.  We go in expecting our husband to fulfill our hopes and to make us happy.  Unrealistic expectations breed disappointment and the higher your expectations are the more likely your spouse will fail you and cause you much frustration.

Divorce is nearly inevitable when people refuse to allow their spouse to be human. 

You must choose to live by encouragement rather than by expectations.

Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees. - Isaiah 35:3

Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.  Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men. - 1 Thessalonians 5:11, 14

Make a commitment to daily let go of unrealistic expectations and become your spouse's greatest encourager.  The person they're created by God to be will begin to emerge with new confidence and love for you.

Task:  Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home.  Think of one area where your spouse has told you you're expecting too much, and tell them you're sorry for being so hard on them about it.  Promise them you'll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Love Intercedes


Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. - 3 John 1:2

You cannot change your spouse.  That is what most couples spend a large part of their time trying to do -- change their spouse.

If you follow each of the steps we have been talking about you will see your marriage begin to bloom in front of your own eyes.  It may take weeks.  It may even take years, but regardless you are nurturing your relationship and by depending on God you will see results.

Turn your complaints about your husband into prayers and watch the Master work.  Begin praying for what your husband needs.  Pray for his heart, his attitude, his responsibilities before God.  Pray for truth to replace lies.  Pray for forgiveness to replace bitterness.  Pray for a geniune breakthrough in your marriage.  Then pray for your heart's desires -- for love and honor to become the norm.

Task:  Begin praying today for your husbands's heart.  Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your husband's life and in your marriage.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Love is Honorable

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.  - 1 Peter 3:7

To honor someong means to give them respect and high esteem, to treat them as being special and of great worth.  When you speak to them, you keep your language clean and understandable.  You are courteous and polite.  When they speak to you, you take them seriously, giving their words weight and significance.  When they ask you to do something, you accomodate them if at all possible, simply out of respect for who they are.

Honoring your husband means giving him your full attention, not talking from behind a book or with one eye on the television.  When a decision is being made that affects both of you, you give your husband's voice and opinions equal influence in your mind.  You honor what they have to say.

You should give honor to your husband even if he doesn't reciprocate.  This is how you create an atmosphere for love to be a beauty of honor.

Task:  Choose a way to show honor and respect to your husband that is above your normal routing.  It could be putting his clothes away for him or the way you listen and speak in your communication.  Show him that he is highly esteemed in your eyes.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Love is Not Jealous


Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame. - Song of Solomon 8:6

Jealousy is one of the strongest drives known to man.  It comes from the root word for zeal meaning to burn with an intense fire.

Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy?  - Proverbs 27:4

When you were married, you were given the role of becoming your husband's biggest cheerleader and the captain of his fan club.  It is time to let love, humility, and gratefulness destroy any jealousy that springs up in your heart.  It's time to let your husband's successes draw you closer together and give you greater opportunities to show geniune love.

Purpose to determine to become your husband's biggest fan and reject any thoughts of jealousy.

Task:  Take your negative list, to help you focus on this task, and discreetly burn or destroy it.  Then share with your husband how glad you are about a success he recently enjoyed.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Love Believes the Best


Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. - 1 Corinthians 13:7

Picture your heart as having deep and private corridors.  There are two rooms in these corridors, an Appreciation Room and a Depreciation Room. 

The Appreciation Room is where our thoughts go when we encounter positive and encouraging things about our husband.  These may include thoughts like hones, intelligent, diligent worker, wonderful cook, beautiful eyes, etc.  When you think about these thoughts your appreciation for your husband increases.

The Depreciation Room is where your negative thoughts are stored.  These thoughts includes weaknesses, failures, bad habits, hurtful words, poor decisions, etc.  If you stay in this room long enough, you will get depressed and angry and start having thoughts like "My husband is so selfish", "My husband can be such a jerk.", or "I think I married the wrong person."

Spending time in the Depreciatin Room kills marriages.  It doesn't matter if these things are true, so are the things in the Appreciation Room!

Settle into the Appreciation Room and make it your home.  Meditate on the positives and you will learn many more wonderful qualities of your husband.

You must develop a habit of reigning in your negative thoughts and focus on the positive attributes of your husband!  This is a decision you should make, whether they deserve it or not.

Task:  Get two pieces of paper.  On one sheet write all the negative things you can think of regarding your husband.  On the second sheet write all the positive things you can think of regarding your husband.  Place both sheets in your private journal.  We have a purpose for each later on. 

Purpose:  At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the list you created and thank your husband for having this characteristic.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Love is thoughtful


How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. - Psalm 139: 17-18

Love thinks.  It's not a mindless feeling that rides on waves of emotion and falls asleep mentally.  It keeps busy in thought, knowing that loving thoughts precede loving actions.

When you first met your husband, you spent many hours dreaming of him and the things you talked about and did together.  Things tend to change after we get married.  We let our focus change to our jobs, friends, problems, personal desires, etc.

Love requires thoughtfulness -- on both sides --  the kind that builds bridges through the constructive combination of patience, kindness, and selflessness.  Love teaches us how to meet in the middle, to respect and appreciate how our husband uniquely thinks.

When was the last time you spent a few minutes thinking about how you could better understand and demonstrate love to your husband?

Purpose to contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day.  Have no agenda other than asking how they are doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Love is not selfish


Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;  - Romans 12:10

We live in a world that is enamored with "self."  Our culture around us teaches us to focus on our appearance, feelings, and personal desires as the top priority.  The goal, it seems, is to chase the highest level of happiness possible.  The danger from this kind of thinking is that it becomes painfully apparent once inside a marriage relationship.

Why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high expectations for our spouse?  We are selfish.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; - 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Ask yourself these questions:
  • Do I truly want what's best for my husband?
  • Do I want them to feel loved by me?
  • Do they believe I have their best interests in mind?
  • Do they see me as looking out for myself first?
Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. - Philippians 2:3

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you.  It's hard to care for something you are not investing in.

Purpose to buy your husband something that says, "I was thinking of you today."

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Love is Kind

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. - Ephesians 4:32

Kindness is love in action.  If patience is how love reacts in order to minimize a negative circumstance, kindness is  how love acts to maximize a positive circumstance.

Kindness creates a blessing; it is proactive.  Kindness makes you likeable.

Four core ingredients to kindness are gentleness, helpfulness, willingness, and initiative.

Purpose to say nothing negative to your husband today.  Also, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Love Takes Delight

You should not just follow your heart. You should lead it.


Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do. Just be together.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Sweet Things To Do for Your Husband

Spend lots of time dreaming together. There is something about merging our hopes and dreams for the future with someone else's.  I encourage you to have a dream for the next year of your marriage, another for the next five years, and another for the next 10 years.

Accentuate physical affection. Do you and your husband regularly hug, hold hands, smooch, nuzzle, and walk arm in arm? Touching is a ready-made reservoir of relational energy and intimacy.

Place a high priority on laughter and levity. Laughing together creates a magical bond. When you and your husband find humor in the same thing, you are fused together at that moment. Relive funny events from your lives, swap stories, watch wacky movies together — whatever makes you laugh, do it often.

Regularly communicate your mutual significance to each other. Look for every opportunity to tell your husband, "You are the most important person in my life." You can convey this verbally, in writing, or through acts of kindness.

This can be something small like bringing home your husband’s favorite ice cream or buying him a book with a touching inscription inside. These small gestures assure him that he is in your thoughts when you're apart, and this draws you closer to each other.

Eat by candlelight. It doesn’t matter if it’s a Domino’s pizza or a five-course gourmet meal, candles can present a very special atmosphere. Have you ever eaten pizza by candlelight? Try it! You’ll be surprised at how romantic it really is!

Pay attention when your husband mentions things he or she likes or expresses interest in something that could make a good gift, such as a new CD, a book, or theater, concert, sports tickets.

Be on the lookout for ideas for birthday, holiday, and anniversary gifts, plus "no reason" surprise gifts. It's very flattering to know that someone really tried to find a gift that was just what you wanted.

Frequently offer foot massages, shoulder massages, and full-body massages to your husband. You'll get plenty of brownie points in your "relationship bank account" if you keep some great-smelling lotion handy and take ten minutes to massage your husband's tired feet at the end of a long work day.

Note: Don't do these things expecting to be rewarded for your efforts, you won't accumulate any points for being romantic. Do this unselfishly!

Giving sweet cards and letters to your husband can be another way to show him that you are thinking of him, as can emails and phone messages that share your feelings. Handwritten letters sent through the mail are becoming more and more of a rarity. That's good for you because that means your husband will think you're really thoughtful for taking the time to write a letter of love by hand and mailing it. That will make more of an impact than just sending an email.

Pamper and spoil your husband. That might be letting him sleep in late while you watch the kids, or it could be telling your husband to sit down and relax while you clean up after dinner.

The key is in the delivery of the offer. You might say, "Nothing's too good for my sweetheart" or "It's fun to pamper you." You can accompany your words with a hug or kiss.

Talking in front of your husband to someone else about your his good points is a nice thing to do. Take full advantage of opportunities to say, 'I'm so lucky to have such a supportive husband - he's such a treasure. I'm a lucky woman."

You can also do this when you're talking on the phone. It doesn't have to be done in his presence.  We should always be lifting our husband's up!  Never tear down your husband to others.  Remember to not only love your husband, but to like him as well!

Surprise your husband with a framed picture of the two of you in a setting that will bring back pleasant memories. Another option is to frame a picture of your husband that shows him in a flattering way and let them know how much you love the photo. Keep it on your nightstand, computer, dresser, or desk and let your him see you looking at it admiringly.

We talked about taking surprise getaways. Why don’t you take the initiative to plan a surprise weekend outing? Call and make all the arrangements ahead of time. The outing doesn't have to be expensive or complex. It might be as simple as planning a picnic at a nearby scenic spot. You might prepare the surprise picnic lunch when your husband is in the shower. Or you might make arrangements for a restaurant to pack a gourmet lunch for the two of you that you could pick up on your way out of town.

Celebrate every occasion you can think of:  the anniversary of the day you met, when you became engaged, your marriage anniversary, your birthdays, and anything else you can come up with.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Love fights fair

Remember, love is not a fight, but it is always worth fighting for.


Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your spouse is not ready for this, write out your own personal rules to "fight" by.  Resolve to abide by them when the next conflict occurs.

If your spouse participated with you, what was their response. What rules did you write for yourself.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Lesson 7 - A Heart That Loves (PART 1)

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, - Titus 2:4

We are to hold our husbands first in our heart after God. That is the clear implication of God’s instruction to the older women in the church who are to teach the younger women how to be women after God’s heart.

The first thing listed for married women to learn and practice is to love their husbands (Titus 2:3-4).

“Heartfelt, Yet Practical Love”

Are you thinking “Of course I love my husband!”?

God loves you and I unconditionally, regardless of our shortcomings, and certainly we wives are to love our husbands with that kind of unconditional love.

Titus 2:4, God instructs us to “love” our husband. The word is phileo which means friendship love.

This friendship love is a love that cherishes, enjoys, and likes our husbands!

We should see our husband as our best friend and want to be with him more than with any other person.

YES, BUT HOW?

Decide to make your husband your #1 human relationship.

      This relationship is meant to be more important than the relationship we enjoy with our parents, friends, a good neighbor, a sibling, or children.

      The way we use our time should reflect that ranking.

Begin to choose your husband over all other human relationships.

Ask of your lifestyle, “Am I spoiling my husband rotten?”

1. Pray for your husband daily.

o James 5:16 - Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

o 2 Peter 3:9 - The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

o 1 Timothy 2:4 - Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.

o 1 Peter 3:1-6 – 1. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2. While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4. But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6. Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

o Matthew 6:21 - For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

o Pray for his relationship with God, his spiritual growth both at home and in the church, any projects or deadlines on the job, his schedule for each day, his spiritual gifts, and his ministry involvement.

o As you invest your time, your heart, and your life in prayer for your husband, you’ll find arguments decreasing and mellowing.

2. Plan for your husband daily.

o Proverbs 21:5 - The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness; but of every one that is hasty only to want.

     o Plan special deeds of kindness
     o Plan special dinners
     o Plan special times alone
     o Plan an early bedtime for children
     o Plan to go to bed at the same time

3. Heart Pause:

     o Pause and pray for your husband right now.
     o Thank God for the love He has placed in your heart for your husband and ask for God’s help in sharing it with your husband.
     o After you say amen, do something special for your husband today that sends a message of friendship from your heart to his.

WORKBOOK

What meant the most to you from this chapter or offered you the greatest challenge or inspired you deeply?

What does God say about the role of a wife?

     o She is to help her husband.
     o She is to follow her husband.
     o She is to respect her husband.
     o She is to love her husband.

Titus 2:3-5 - The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4. That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

What message does God have for wives here?

Think back over these past few weeks. How has what we have learned affected your marriage with regards to helping, following, and respecting your husband

Focus on your husband – What do you plan to do? What specific actions do you plan to take, to submit to your husband?

Decide to make your husband your Number One human relationship.

     o Begin to choose your husband over all other human relationships.
     o Evaluate your marriage to see if your priorities and choices are “out of whack”.
     o What did you determine?
     o In your journal, write down your answer.

Pray for Your Husband Daily.

If your husband is a Christian, look to these scriptures:

o 1 Timothy 3:1-10, 12-13. - This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. 2. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; 3. Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; 4. One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; 5. (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) 6. Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. 7. Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. 8. ¶ Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre; 9. Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience. 10. And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.

12. Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well. 13. For they that have used the office of a deacon well purchase to themselves a good degree, and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.

o Titus 1:6-9 - If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly. 7. For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; 8. But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate; 9. Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.

o Colossians 1:9-12. - For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10. That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11. Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness; 12. Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light:

o Philippians 1:6. - Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

If your husband is not a Christian, look to these scriptures:

o 1 Timothy 2:4 - Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.

o 2 Peter 3:9 - The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

o 1 Corinthians 7:13 - And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

o 1 Peter 3:1-6 - Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2. While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4. But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6. Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

For all wives

o Genesis 2:18 - And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

o Ephesians 5:22-24 - Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

o Ephesians 5:33 - Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

o Titus 2:4 - That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

o 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 - Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

o Proverbs 5:15-20 - Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. 16. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. 17. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. 18. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. 19. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. 20. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?

Plan for Your Husband Daily.

     o Plan a special deed of kindness for your husband each day for a week.
     o Plan a special dinner for your husband next week.
     o Plan a special date alone with your husband this week.

Write in your journal of an instance where you were aware that you actively chose your husband as a priority over all others this week. Then thank God for that opportunity and His grace to make that choice.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Love Cherishes

"It's time to let love change your thinking."


What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Choose a gesture that says "I cherish you" and do it with a smile.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Love is Unconditional

"No longer say 'I love you because....' Say 'I love you period.' "


"Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse. Something that proves (to you and them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage"


Has your love in the past been based on your spouses attributes and behavior or on your committment? How can you continue to show love when it's not returned in a way you hope for?

Friday, April 1, 2011

Love is Patient

Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your toungue than to say something you'll regret.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:  - James 1:19