Monday, April 4, 2011

Lesson 7 - A Heart That Loves (PART 1)

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, - Titus 2:4

We are to hold our husbands first in our heart after God. That is the clear implication of God’s instruction to the older women in the church who are to teach the younger women how to be women after God’s heart.

The first thing listed for married women to learn and practice is to love their husbands (Titus 2:3-4).

“Heartfelt, Yet Practical Love”

Are you thinking “Of course I love my husband!”?

God loves you and I unconditionally, regardless of our shortcomings, and certainly we wives are to love our husbands with that kind of unconditional love.

Titus 2:4, God instructs us to “love” our husband. The word is phileo which means friendship love.

This friendship love is a love that cherishes, enjoys, and likes our husbands!

We should see our husband as our best friend and want to be with him more than with any other person.

YES, BUT HOW?

Decide to make your husband your #1 human relationship.

      This relationship is meant to be more important than the relationship we enjoy with our parents, friends, a good neighbor, a sibling, or children.

      The way we use our time should reflect that ranking.

Begin to choose your husband over all other human relationships.

Ask of your lifestyle, “Am I spoiling my husband rotten?”

1. Pray for your husband daily.

o James 5:16 - Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

o 2 Peter 3:9 - The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

o 1 Timothy 2:4 - Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.

o 1 Peter 3:1-6 – 1. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2. While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4. But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6. Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

o Matthew 6:21 - For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

o Pray for his relationship with God, his spiritual growth both at home and in the church, any projects or deadlines on the job, his schedule for each day, his spiritual gifts, and his ministry involvement.

o As you invest your time, your heart, and your life in prayer for your husband, you’ll find arguments decreasing and mellowing.

2. Plan for your husband daily.

o Proverbs 21:5 - The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness; but of every one that is hasty only to want.

     o Plan special deeds of kindness
     o Plan special dinners
     o Plan special times alone
     o Plan an early bedtime for children
     o Plan to go to bed at the same time

3. Heart Pause:

     o Pause and pray for your husband right now.
     o Thank God for the love He has placed in your heart for your husband and ask for God’s help in sharing it with your husband.
     o After you say amen, do something special for your husband today that sends a message of friendship from your heart to his.

WORKBOOK

What meant the most to you from this chapter or offered you the greatest challenge or inspired you deeply?

What does God say about the role of a wife?

     o She is to help her husband.
     o She is to follow her husband.
     o She is to respect her husband.
     o She is to love her husband.

Titus 2:3-5 - The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4. That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

What message does God have for wives here?

Think back over these past few weeks. How has what we have learned affected your marriage with regards to helping, following, and respecting your husband

Focus on your husband – What do you plan to do? What specific actions do you plan to take, to submit to your husband?

Decide to make your husband your Number One human relationship.

     o Begin to choose your husband over all other human relationships.
     o Evaluate your marriage to see if your priorities and choices are “out of whack”.
     o What did you determine?
     o In your journal, write down your answer.

Pray for Your Husband Daily.

If your husband is a Christian, look to these scriptures:

o 1 Timothy 3:1-10, 12-13. - This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work. 2. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach; 3. Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous; 4. One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; 5. (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?) 6. Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. 7. Moreover he must have a good report of them which are without; lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. 8. ¶ Likewise must the deacons be grave, not doubletongued, not given to much wine, not greedy of filthy lucre; 9. Holding the mystery of the faith in a pure conscience. 10. And let these also first be proved; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless.

12. Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well. 13. For they that have used the office of a deacon well purchase to themselves a good degree, and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus.

o Titus 1:6-9 - If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly. 7. For a bishop must be blameless, as the steward of God; not selfwilled, not soon angry, not given to wine, no striker, not given to filthy lucre; 8. But a lover of hospitality, a lover of good men, sober, just, holy, temperate; 9. Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sound doctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.

o Colossians 1:9-12. - For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and to desire that ye might be filled with the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; 10. That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11. Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness; 12. Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light:

o Philippians 1:6. - Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

If your husband is not a Christian, look to these scriptures:

o 1 Timothy 2:4 - Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.

o 2 Peter 3:9 - The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

o 1 Corinthians 7:13 - And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

o 1 Peter 3:1-6 - Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2. While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4. But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 5. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6. Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

For all wives

o Genesis 2:18 - And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

o Ephesians 5:22-24 - Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

o Ephesians 5:33 - Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

o Titus 2:4 - That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

o 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 - Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

o Proverbs 5:15-20 - Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. 16. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. 17. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. 18. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. 19. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. 20. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?

Plan for Your Husband Daily.

     o Plan a special deed of kindness for your husband each day for a week.
     o Plan a special dinner for your husband next week.
     o Plan a special date alone with your husband this week.

Write in your journal of an instance where you were aware that you actively chose your husband as a priority over all others this week. Then thank God for that opportunity and His grace to make that choice.

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