Monday, April 25, 2011

A Heart That Loves - Part 2

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, - Titus 2:4

What can we do to show our husbands affectionate, indulgent, friendship love? Let’s continue with our steps to showing our husband’s that we care.

The first two steps were:
1. Pray for him daily.
2. Plan for him daily.

Step 3: Prepare for your husband daily.

a. Prepare the house – take a few minutes before your husband is due home to pick up. Light candles, turn on relaxing music, cut and arrange fresh flowers from your garden, have dinner cooking in the oven, …something that communicates you are glad he is home.

Working women – Think about the state you leave the house in when you leave for work, take a few extra minutes to straighten up before leaving so that when you both arrive the house is in order.

b. Prepare your appearance – Think how you prepare yourself when you know that company is coming. Freshen your makeup, run a comb through your hair, change clothes (so that you’re not in those same sweat pants he is accustomed to seeing you in)… Proverbs 27:9

Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel. – Proverbs 27:9

c. Prepare your greeting – We all have routines; you probably know what time your husband will get home from work each day. Warm his welcome as you wait and watch for him. Plan your words of greeting. Proverbs 15:28; Proverbs 12:25.

The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things. – Proverbs 15:28

Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad. – Proverbs 12:25

d. Set the table – Have dinner as close to ready as possible.

e. Clear out all visitors – end your visiting well in advance of your husband’s homecoming. He doesn’t need to arrive home to a noisy houseful of moms and kids.

f. Stay off the phone – You are bound to hurt someone’s feelings if you are on the phone when your husband walks in the door. Either your husband’s or the person you are on the phone with.

“Let the wife make her husband glad to come home.” – Martin Luther

g. Prepare all the way home – use the trip home to plan those uplifting words of greeting and then share them with a smile, a hug, and a kiss.

h. Pray all the way home – prayer is the most important preparation of the heart. Ask God for physical strength and energy. Relinquish any hopes and expectations of receiving help from your husband. If you get it, praise God – and your husband – profusely, but enter into your evening ready to give and expecting nothing in return. (Luke 6:35)

But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. – Luke 6:35

Step 4: Please your husband.

What are your husband’s likes? What are you doing in response to them?

Step 5: Protect your time with your husband

Don’t use him as a babysitter. Don’t leave him at home to go out and be with friends.

Step 6: Physically love your husband.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 - 3. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Song of Solomon

Proverbs 5:19 - Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

Step 7: Positively respond to your husband.

Remember our positive word response – Sure! Fine! No problem! Great! You bet! Anything for you darling! Okeydokey!

Your immediate and gracious answer creates a non-threatening atmosphere for communication and for asking questions such as:

When would you consider doing that? How would we pay for something like that? What would this mean to the children? Is there any other information we need?

Step 8: Praise your husband.

Never speak critically or negatively about your husband to anyone! Never pass up the opportunity to bless your husband in public.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are criticizing your husband, do these three things:

a. Search your heart. (Proverbs 10:12). Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.
b. Seek a solution. Ephesians 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

Proverbs 16:21-24 The wise in heart shall be called prudent: and the sweetness of the lips increaseth learning. 22.  Understanding is a wellspring of life unto him that hath it: but the instruction of fools is folly. 23.  The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips. 24.  Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.

c. Set a goal. Blessing your husband in public – and in private – is one way to sow seeds of love for him in your heart.

Step 9: Pray always!

We begin with prayer and we end in prayer. A woman after God’s own heart is a woman who prays.


1. Before you speak in the morning.
2. Any time he is home.
3. Before he returns home.
4. Throughout the evening.
5. On the way to answer the phone (it could be him).
6. When you are arriving home and he is already there.

Surely the most important relationship in a married woman’s life deserves her most focused attention.

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